© Jaun Elia उम्र गुज़रेगी इम्तिहान में क्या दाग़ ही देंगे मुझ को दान में क्या मेरी हर बात बे-असर ही रही नक़्स है कुछ मेरे बयान में क्या मुझ को तो कोई टोकता भी नहीं यही होता है ख़ानदान में क्या अपनी महरूमियाँ छुपाते हैं हम ग़रीबों की आन-बान में क्या ख़ुद को जाना जुदा ज़माने से आ गया था मेरे गुमान में क्या शाम ही से दुकान-ए-दीद है बंद नहीं नुक़सान तक दुकान में क्या ऐ मेरे सुब्ह-ओ-शाम-ए-दिल की शफ़क़ तू नहाती है अब भी बान में क्या बोल...

Ever lived in a state of depression, anxiety, sleep-deprived mode, and panic attacks? Ever tried searching for symptoms of these disorders on the internet? What are these? What do they do to a human brain or body? Are they external or internal? How can they be controlled or prevented? Just like a liver fails, a kidney fails, a heart fails, similarly a mind fails as well. You eat junk, you impact your gut health; you drink junk, you impact your kidney and liver; you smoke junk, you impact your lungs and heart. Similarly, as you go on feeding your mind with junk thoughts, it also gets impacted in a similar way. So what actually is mental health?  How can you control it and connect your thoughts and emotions and achieve a mental balance? Good mental health does not mean that one doesn't have mental illness. It is about having a sense of purpose in life getting involved with creative things coping with stress and setbacks in life forming meaningful and close relationships being in tou...

 In my personal experience, PhD supervisors in India are more often a hindrance rather than a catalyst for your progress in career and life. The system is so corrupted and rigged, and the research culture and scenario is so broke down that no feasible solution exist for the same.  Politics, huge egos, dramatic behaviour, toxicity, narcissism, mental traumas and harassment, what not? 

25-35 is the age that if you are in struggling to development phase during this age then you find it very difficult to share it seeking solutions from others.  For example, currently I am facing huge struggles, obstacles and complication in my PhD due to lack of proper amenities, toxic research culture, politics on may levels and layers, egos and corruptions involved, untimely delays, resource allocations, and then in the end complex, unpredictable, and weird support and supervision as well.  There's too much stress at the work place. Add to that, I am literally suffering from too many prolonged injuries since past four years, now the pain is becoming severe day by day, and I have developed new issues as well. I suffer from herniated spinal slip disc issue, which is severely affecting my neck, spine, lower back, and my kneee. Then I have achilles tendons, and heel pain issues from past three years due to past many basketball and football injuries. I had minor accident accident...

Some days are gloomy, and some aren't. Difficult times and phases are hard to pass by. Sister has back papers. Seven back papers. Her degree was supposed to be finished by August last year. Most of her batchmates are placed and leading a settled life serving parents, keeping them happy and healthy while she is. She is still struggling with subjective college exam papers, still immature, toxic, erratic, and mannerless, and still living in her own delusional, selfish world, treating her parents like shit while drowning in a plethora of fake egos at the same time. Sometimes, I sincerely feel that we both have failed our parents. We both have failed as good kids, those who could provide them peace, comfort, and most importantly, good respect in society, which they have always craved and which, in fact, they so well deserve. Our parents have done what not, for our comfort and our needs. They have sacrificed so much in terms of health, mental peace, time, and relationships just for the s...

 7th March 2024 A thought just hit my mind today. Like I am suffering a lot of challenges and obstacles in getting married to my long time girlfriend. She has been with me in all the ups and downs since a decade now. However, just because we belong to an orthodox Indian society divided on caste, color, culture, region, religion, and multiple other differences, one has to suffer a lot on multiple stages in many aspects while taking important decisions in life. My girlfriend belongs to a different caste, and is from another state and will surely bring an entirely different set of culture and mindset with her when she will be marrying me. Parents mainly remain scared due to cultural differences, perspective issues, and the part where there are high chances of huge toxicities and arguments which can adversely affect the harmony of the families.  In India, the marriage is never between the two individuals. Parents from both sides are involved, then the relatives comes in the pictur...

 27.2.2024 - 27th February 2024 13 years of a loser and failure life. A day when it came down to even my mother losing the trust and faith in me to succeed. Today morning she was happy on whatsapp chat during the messages. But by evening when she called, she was frustrated by constant sister misbehavior and was stressed regarding her future due to 7 back papers. I can understand what parents have been going through. Seeing everyone's kid excelling in life in some way or another. Relative's kid doing well. So yeah it might put some pressure on their mind since self respect, and societal upper edge respect is involved. Yet! Don't they need to understand that none of their relative's kids or societal friend's kids have enrolled in PhD? Don't they get the pressures, challenges, and traumas experienced during the PhD, that they add on their flavor to it? Plus the law sector also takes time to settle down. Be it litigation or corporate. But the parents are losing thei...