Untrustworthy

 27.2.2024 - 27th February 2024

13 years of a loser and failure life.

A day when it came down to even my mother losing the trust and faith in me to succeed.

Today morning she was happy on whatsapp chat during the messages. But by evening when she called, she was frustrated by constant sister misbehavior and was stressed regarding her future due to 7 back papers.

I can understand what parents have been going through. Seeing everyone's kid excelling in life in some way or another. Relative's kid doing well. So yeah it might put some pressure on their mind since self respect, and societal upper edge respect is involved.
Yet! Don't they need to understand that none of their relative's kids or societal friend's kids have enrolled in PhD? Don't they get the pressures, challenges, and traumas experienced during the PhD, that they add on their flavor to it?

Plus the law sector also takes time to settle down. Be it litigation or corporate.

But the parents are losing their patience but obviously.
I am about to be 31. My sister is around 26. They are bound to lose their hopes. Most of our peers have settled down. We are still in the struggling phase. They live in a society where everyone is literally from IIT IIM or some big college and is working in a big IT company. Hence, even if they practice avoiding they cannot. Because it is their everyday routine scenario to counter such events or conversations or visuals which may trigger their frustration. So in this aspect, the best which can be done is to focus on the controllables which is my PhD and sister's job.

Further, what additionally can be done is I need to focus on moving abroad for sometime in order to grab a job and settle accordingly to shut multiple mouths and parent's health aspect is to be considered as well where their body is giving up. My father keeps dreaming of retiring soon as his body is giving up and he needs rest. My mother is also suffering from multiple ailments. In fact I haven't seen their ageing process which was basically the last 7 years. At least pre-covid they were fine. Their health and mental stability has deteriorated alot in the past 3 years after I joined PhD.

The best which can be done is to work hard focus and grind hard, optimize the available time and focus on overall development at a rapid pace, work for 16-20 hours a day and give maximum output.

And lastly have faith in own abilities and god.